Helping Children Develop Godly Character
Updated: Sep 15
Building Hearts That Reflect Christ
“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.” — Galatians 5:22–23
Noted Evangelist Billy Graham once said:
"Character is made by many acts; it may be lost by a single one."
The Importance of Building Godly Character in Children
As parents we desires to see our children succeed. We want them to do well in school, develop meaningful friendships, make wise decisions, and become responsible adults.
Because, success will undoubtedly open doors, but it's their character that determines how they will walk through them .
A child may have intelligence, talent, and opportunities, but without godly character, those gifts can be easily misused. Character is the foundation that guides how children respond when no one is watching, how they treat others, and how they honor God with their lives. Our God is not only interested in what our children accomplish; He is deeply concerned with who they will become.
The Bible exhorts us to:
“Keep your heart with all diligence, for out of it spring the issues of life.” — Proverbs 4:23
Character flows from the heart.
One of our greatest responsibilities as parents is not to simply raise children who behave well. But, to prepare men and women whose hearts are being transformed by the presence of God.
1. Character Begins in the Heart
Many parents focus on correcting outward behavior.
We teach children to say “please” and “thank you.”
We teach them not to hit, not to lie,
and not to disrespect others.
These lessons are important, but godly character goes deeper than outward actions.
True character begins in the heart.
Jesus taught that our actions is an outward expression of what is already present within us:
“For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.” — Matthew 12:34
Our hearts speaks very loudly though our words and actions.
A child who constantly argues might not only have a behavior problem; but may actually need to learn godly humility.
A child who struggles with sharing may need to develop compassion and generosity.
A child who reacts with anger may need to understand patience and self-control.
Godly parenting looks beyond the action and asks:
“What is happening in my child's heart?”
The goal is not merely to create children who follow rules. Our goal is to lead, guide and help our children to develop hearts that desire to do what pleases God.
Teaching Children That Their Heart Matters
Our children need to understand that God cares about their character , because it most times that not is an expression of their relationship with Him.
So we must help them to understand that:
God cares about how we treat others.
God cares about our words.
God cares about our choices.
God cares about our attitudes.
God cares about the condition of our hearts.
When children understand that our character is connected to our walk with God, then loving obedience becomes more than following instructions—it becomes an expression of our love.
Jesus said:
“If you love Me, keep My commandments.” — John 14:15
Godly character grows when children learn that honoring God is not just something we do; it is who we are becoming. Which causes our lives to be billboards for the Kingdom of God.
2. Teach the Fruit of the Spirit
God has not left us without guidance for developing character in our lives and our offsprings.
Galatians 5:22–23 gives us a beautiful picture of Christlike character:
“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.”
These qualities are not simply personality traits. They are evidence of God's Spirit working within a person's life. Our children need practical examples of what these qualities look like.
Teaching Love
Our lessons on love will teach our children to consider others. We must help them understand this basic truth:
“Love means caring about someone else's feelings, needs, and well-being.” They can:
Help a sibling with their chores, homework etc.
Include someone who feels left out when they are in the company of others
Show kindness when it is difficult to do so.
“Let all that you do be done in love.” — 1 Corinthians 16:14
Teaching Patience
Patience helps children understand that they do not always get what they want immediately.
For example:
Waiting their turn.
Listening without interrupting.
Handling disappointment with grace.
Our children will learn patience as they experience patient parenting.
Teaching Kindness
Kindness reflects the heart of Christ.
For example:
Speaking encouraging words.
Helping someone in need.
Treating others with respect.
“Be kind and compassionate to one another…” — Ephesians 4:32
Teaching Self-Control
Self-control helps children manage emotions, desires, and reactions.
A child with self-control learns:
I may feel angry, but I do not have to respond wrongly.
I may want something, but I can wait.
I may disagree, but I can respond respectfully.
Self-control is a powerful character trait because it prepares our children to take the time to make wise choices throughout life.
3. Model Godly Character Daily
Children learn more from what they see than from what they hear.
We are their first examples of character they will encounter.
As I have said so many times, our children may forget a lecture, but they will always remember how we handled conflicts and life'schallenges.
They will remember whether forgiveness was practiced.
They will remember whether kindness was demonstrated.
They will remember whether faith was lived.
Paul encouraged believers:
“Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ.” — 1 Corinthians 11:1
Lets check ourselves by asking;
“If my child copies my attitudes, reactions, and priorities, what kind of character will they develop?”
I am not saying as parents we will be perfect. I saying as parents we should be willing to demonstrate repentance, humility, and growth.
When we say : “I was wrong. Please forgive me.”
Our children learn practical humility.
When we choose patience during frustration, they learn self-control.
As we serves others, they learn compassion.
Godly character is caught before it is taught.
4. Correct Behavior While Shaping the Heart
Disciplining is one of the greatest opportunities we have to instill character in our children.
Biblical discipline is not about punishment alone. It's about instruction, correction, and guided transformation.
The Bible tells us:
“No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace…” — Hebrews 12:11
The purpose of discipline is not simply say:
“Stop doing that.” But carries an underlining question: “What character trait does my child need to develop in this moment?”
Instead of only saying: “Don't be selfish.”
Lets teach them that : “God wants us to have a generous heart.”
Instead of saying: “Stop yelling.”
Teach: “God wants us to use words that bring peace.”
Instead of saying: “Obey me.”
Teach:
“Obedience helps us honor God.”
Correction should always point children toward real transformation in their character.
Creating Character-Building Moments at Home
Our everyday lives provide opportunities to teach godly character.
At the dinner table: Teach gratitude.
During disagreements: Teach forgiveness.
When mistakes happen: Teach responsibility.
When someone is hurting: Teach compassion.
During family devotion: Teach God's truth.
Character is not developed in one conversation. It's formed during consistent moments of instruction, example, and prayer.
Helping Children Understand Their Identity in Christ
Children who understand who they are in God are more likely to develop godly character.
Remind them:
You are created by God.
You are loved by God.
You are valuable to God.
You are made to reflect Christ.
“We are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works...” — Ephesians 2:10
When children know their identity, they do not have to search for value in the approval of others.
They will live confidently knowing that they belong to God.
Practical Ways to help Parents instillGodly Character
1. Pray for Your Child's Character
Ask God to develop qualities that reflect Christ.
2. Teach Scriptures that Build Values
Let God's Word become the foundation for decision-making.
3. Celebrate Character, not Only Achievements
Praise kindness, honesty, perseverance, and compassion.
4. Give Children Opportunities to Serve
Service develops humility and generosity.
5. Talk About Real-Life Situations
Ask:
“What could you do to honor God in this situation?”
6. Be Consistent
Character grows through repeated practice. Repetition is the key to retention.
7. Create a Home Environment Where Grace and Truth Exist Together
Children need both loving acceptance and loving correction.
A Parent's Prayer
Heavenly Father,
Again I thank You for the precious gift of our children. We ask You to develop Christlike character within them. Help us to shape their hearts to reflect Your love, kindness, patience, faithfulness, self-control and all the fruit of the Holy Spirit.
Help us as their parents to model the character we desire to see in them. Give us wisdom to guide them according to Your Word, to them
correct with love, teach with patience. We pray that our children will grow to become men and women who honor You, love others, and reflect Christ wherever they go.
In Jesus' name,
Amen.
Final Thoughts from dabaR
One the best things we can give our children is not possessions, opportunities or even knowledge . It's guiding them to have a Godly heart.
A child with godly character possesses something that will never be take away. For it them they will carry wisdom, integrity, compassion, and the ability to be a true reflection of Christ in every area of their lives.
Praise be to God for giving us the privilege of partnering with You in developing children whose lives become an image of Your heart.
Because, as we help our children develop godly character, we go beyond equipping them for success in this world—to guiding them into walking in God's purpose.
About the Author
Lurline Grant is an author, Bible teacher, and children's ministry leader with over 27 years of experience teaching and discipling children. Through DabaR Kingdom Words , she expresses her passion for equipping families with biblical resources that will help parents raise children who know, love, and follow God.
Comments